Right before the New Year, I got thinking about what I want to accomplish in 2013. I don’t like to make too many resolutions because to me, a resolution can mean something you want to change in your life forever, which can be an intimidating thought at first. A goal is something you want to achieve that can be much more attainable. Maybe one of your goals works toward your resolution. For example, if you want to lose 20 lbs—make a small goal of hitting the gym 2x a week to begin with! This breaks it down to a much more feasible. The goals you set for yourself will give you attainable milestones that keep you motivated while the resolutions help reinforce lifelong changes.
I have a goal. It may sound obvious for some people but to me, it is something I have struggled with a bit in my past. I want to respect myself to the fullest; my body, my mind, my soul and my feelings. There is a quote that says “No one is in charge of your happiness” and although I know this is true, it can sometimes be hard to live by. Sour relationships, tough experiences or certain choices can make this hard to live by each and everyday.
I have made a goal to myself to take the necessary steps this year to be HAPPY and HEALTHY; like this picture below
This is a picture of me when I was about 4 years old on my favorite beach in Cape Cod that we went to every summer. My mother showed me this picture the other week and I couldn't help but cry a little bit. I remember how carefree and happy I was as a young girl and my mom must have caught me in a moment of belly hurting laughter. I did not have a care in the world. Pure happiness. THIS is my goal in 2013.
When I first joined CSF and began dieting a bit to lose weight, it was amazing what simple changes I made to see drastic changes.
I completely changed my style of workouts and tweaked my diet with the help of Cathy, my amazing coach. I checked in each week, stayed consistent, focused and in a short period of time, I was experiencing a complete body transformation. Going into my first show was not about the 'symmetry of my muscles' or 'flat my belly was' It was about confidence. I got on stage after having it be my lifelong dream to to so. I felt sexy, comfortable, happy and confident. Before losing the weight- I was not ‘fat’ but I felt just uncomfortable. I am a short girl at 5”2 and I was holding a bit more weight than I was used to on my frame. Besides the weight—I wanted to change my physique. I realized that after I had shed the weight and felt comfortable, I was finding myself ‘scared of certain foods. I would get anxious in situations and not know how to react when I ‘couldn’t eat’ certain foods for no other reason than “I will gain all of the weight back” I have spoken with my mother numerous times about ‘the fear’ of going back to that unhappy place in my life just from eating a small cookie. I knew that absolutely NOTHING would happen to my body after eating this cookie-but there was still that small voice inside of me thinking it would. Where am I going with this, you ask? Well that ‘cookie’ also represents a time in my life where I had very little control over myself and my own life as well as at a time where I was talked down to and felt about as big as a rock.
Something I have never shared before which is somewhat personal to me is that when I joined CSF and thus began losing the weight, changing my physique and gaining back my lost self esteem, I was in a very unforgiving relationship with a man who looked at my in the face one day and said he was no longer physically attracted to me because of my body. I was never good enough. I looked at him and cried and said “okay…I will change for you” One thing I will say is to NEVER let anyone change you for anything. I now know this after having to go through a manipulative, hurtful and disrespectful relationship. YOU harness all of the power within you and you cannot let ANYONE try to change you, your body or your beliefs. After the relationship obviously ended (having him not show up to my first show and wanting nothing to do with me after gaining my new-found confidence) I realized I did this show and decided to do this FOR ME. Screw him. His actions certainly created a fuel underneath me that fired me up to take my dream of competing a reality, but this was ALWAYS a dream of mine. He had nothing to do with my new found confidence, happiness and life. I see way to often women get themselves wrapped up surrounding themselves with toxic people. Maybe they can't get out of an unhealthy relationship or they have a friend who brings them down. My advice to you is to think about what you truly deserve.
Respect and care for others begins with respect and care for yourself. When you take action towards those things that you know are important, you are following your own life's golden path.
STEPS TO BE THE HAPPIEST YOU IN 2013
Radiate It: Simply put- If you believe that you deserve happiness and fulfillment, you are very likely to attract and create circumstances that promote these conditions. Radiate happiness and always give off positive vibes. Make happiness your priority and put yourself in situations that provide only positive opportunities.
Let Go Of Things That Make You Feel Inferior or Worthless: Relationships do not have to be physical to be abusive. Emotional abuse can almost be worse because that manipulative attitude will keep you running back, where you will put yourself through the same vicious cycle. Why continue to do this to yourself? Put yourself on a pedestal and toss out whatever it is that makes you feel crappy like a bad habit. If there is a friend who is constantly negative about his or her life, putting himself or herself down or even worse-you…this is NOT something you need to be surrounded with. You want to feel phenomenal every single day and situations that make you feel like crap will make you stop dead in the road of happiness. It may not be easy, but it is necessary. Remember that.
Try something New: I will be 27 years old in March. This is a ‘weird’ time in my life and I truly believe that the ages 21-30 can be challenging for most people. Everyone is trying to figure out who they want to be, what they want to do, what they will do to get there, all while trying to balance healthy relationships, meet new people and stay sane. It can be one of the most exciting times in your life and it can at the same time be one of the most challenging. I was talking to a client of mine the other day explaining that I had a party to attend but I was also complaining that I was tired and it was cold blah blah. She looks at me and says “Naomi, half of the battle is just showing up!” And she could not have been more right. I will challenge myself this year to just ‘show up’ I will seek out opportunities and try new things with new people. I want to get out of my comfort zone! Embrace it.
Do it Everyday: In order to make happiness and respect a priority, do so something you really love every day- even if it is only for a few minutes. Read a chapter in your favorite book, listen to your favorite song and dance! Schedule your favorite yoga class in your weekly calender so you cannot miss it! We can get so caught up trying to please others that along the way we forget how to please ourselves. Try not to expect too much from yourself and work towards improving each and everyday.
Find Your Passion: Make this the year to pursue what drives you. This can be SCARY but make it the year to make it happen. Two years ago I was pretty miserable at my job and in an unsupportive, unhappy relationship. Now, I am happier than ever with my job, and am working each day to figuring out the next scary, exciting step. Am I there yet? No way! But I will make it a goal to do something each day that makes me feel confident and respected. Maybe finding this passion means a change in careers, a big move, getting out of that crappy relationship that has lingered in a pool of toxicity. Whatever it is. Write down what is holding you back and start crossing those items off of your list to move forward!
Embrace Your Strengths: Show off the best parts of yourself. How and when are you at your most generous, most creative, most productive, most inspired? You know what you are good at--well its time to show it off and show the world what you have! Do you have an ability to talk to anyone? Make it a goal to start up a small conversation with a stranger each day. It may sound silly, but some people can be very fearful of starting up conversation with someone whom they do not know. If you know you can--do it!
Know What You Want: Gaining a level of respect for yourself, clear ideas and the life you want to have you MUST surround yourself with people who will only bring you higher. Knowing what you want is a very big factor in having what you want. If you just take each day, not knowing what you want, who you are or what you deserve, it will be hard to take solid steps towards a 100% happy, exciting, invigorating and crazy life.
Stop being Indifferent: One of the most frustrating things about making plans with friends, loved one or anyone else at that moment when you are trying to decide where to go, what to do or where/what to eat and both people go “I don’t care! You choose” I have a goal to state my opinion. We all have one even when we promise we ‘feel indifferent’ It is so important to speak your mind and say how you feel or what you want! It will give you a sense of empowerment and satisfaction.
Plan and Prioritize: Make a list of what you want to accomplish today. I know some people have lists that they write on Sunday of tasks they want to get done for the week, others write a list in the beginning of each day of items they want to get done in the next 24 hours. Writing out a list, planning and prioritizing will not only make you feel in control but it can also help relieve the stress of "OMG I have so much to do!!"
Take criticism as a compliment: Maybe your boss told you something you need to work on, or maybe someone has told you that you need to lose or gain weight. I certainly have dealt with all of these situations myself. Take it and use it to make you stronger. Let it fuel you and your passions and take you higher. Some of us will listen to this and get upset and go off the deep end. Resist this urge and use it to your benefit. We are not perfect, we all have flaws, strengths and weaknesses, so try to accept criticism as best you can to make you a better you. Trust me, you will become stronger because of it.
How will you make 2013 your happiest year yet?